| Award or Condition | Description |
| The Moby Ick | Alternating very good and very bad seasons. To honour "Moby" Dick McAmmond |
| The Rhino Rash | Taking the home teams as your top picks on American Thanksgiving holiday and losing one or more of them (started 1988) |
| The Motown Ointment | The cure for the "Rhino Rash" (1991) |
| The Jazzers Junket | Stay near the top of the standings most of the year then nosedives as the end of the season approaches |
| Mario's Malaise | Consistantly end the season in second place in the standings |
| The Fabian Line | 5660 points. The lowest point total ever for one season. A mark that everybody strives to pass. |
| The Plight of the Pickle | Consistantly slanting your picks toward your favourite NFL team when they basically suck. |
| The Pickle's Panacea | Solve the problem by taking your favourite, but inept, team as your last pick each week - to lose. |
| The Brewbaron Brouhaha | Refers to committee teams where members start to bicker amongst themselves as to who is the worst picker. |
| Three Way Split | Brewbarons Brouhaha carried to the extreme resulting in the dissolving of the franchise and new alliances |
| The Week From Hell Syndrome | A contending franchise has a very poor week which removes them from contention |
| Dinky's Premature Evacuation | A combination of the Jazzers Junket and three (3) Weeks from Hell which causes a leading franchise to evacuate the podium at the end of the season |
| We Want to Know Your #1 Pick Affliction | A franchise that has got it's #1 pick wrong so often that others would like to know so that they can make a different choice |
| The Monica Award | Close but no cigar. The winner is the franchise closest but not in the prize pool for the week. The stink hole! |
| The Grand Monica Award | Close but no real big cigar. Same as above except for the year. |
| Black Sunday | Refers to week 6, 2001 season when the average points scored in the pool where 170.6 per franchise, the lowest ever. This was done under old scoring rules where a tie got half points for either pick. |
| The Tin Cup | Given to the franchise (if there are any) which at the end of the season has the most points but with no winnings. |
| The Rotter's Request | After he dropped from contention at the end of the 2009 season the Rotter wrote to me, "Maybe we should shorten the NFL schedule by two weeks to get rid of all the silliness." |
| A Back Door Victory | When you retain the lead on the last game of the week because your pick loses and the fellow behind you who also picked them (for more points) doesn't pass you |
| A Rhino Repeat | That's when you win every 29th season |
| A Procrastinator's Pain | When you wait too long to make picks, and then the website screws up and screws you out of your opportunity to place picks.This is usually followed by the waiter's whinge also known as the buzzer beater's bleat BAAAAAAAA! |
| The Chainman's Century | Picking an upset against a heavily favoured opponent which results in losing an average of at least 100 points vs every other franchise in the pool |
| The Slackers Ploy | Picking all the games in the descending order as per the CBS website because you are too lazy to rearrange them. |
| Shawn's Legambit | When you use the Slackers Ploy and win the week. First accomplished by Shawn Leblanc week 18 2022 season. |