The Rhinos Wallow

Week 15 2023 Season

Return to Main Page

     As I have done in the past I have attempted a "Night Before Christmas" poem dedicated to members of this pool. Please understand that some of this might be a bit out of date as I started it a while ago.

   Night Before Christmas 2023

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the pool
Veterans tremble as I take up my tool

They all are uneasy as I sit down to write
Nothing that is good will come from this night

Jazzed up by coffee, slowed down by booze 
There's always some venom as I consult with my muse

What can we conjure for each in the pool
an appropriate gift so I don't look the fool

#1 Fan vs Green Giant, both want to be best
For family peace, a tie I suggest

We all want the trophy, that is a given
My wish for Assfault, a nice place to live in.

Fast actin Tinactin, that is the best gift
for Athlete's Foot, should give him a lift

For BadGasBrown I say with a grin
I wish a long shot that produces a win

Poor Beau The Dope, it is sort of sad
Needs a dog house to sleep in for when he's been bad

Big Head, Big Brain, I know where it's at
The best thing for Brett would be a BIG HAT

Family BigFart, if I know anything
The best thing for them, for Dallas a ring
(Superbowl that is)

Blondar loves music, so I heard him say
A guitar for Christmas might make his day

Brady Bunch enlisted all his friends in the pool
Hope they don't all thrash him, make him look the fool

I cannot give Chainman the thing he wants most
Win the side bet with Rhino and then he could boast

ComeOnRef  he cries, do your job right
I wish peace and good cheer this Christmas night

D-Man over Brady Bunch, father bests son
Old men can still dream of a day in the sun

Mayne Island Dinky, so tall and so proud
Just give me a winner, he screams it aloud!

Like all of us, Dobies just wants a win
a new leash on life would bring Doug a grin

Dos Cervezas, in Spanish that means “two beer”
This year needs at least 6, that is very clear

Mr. Fattony, what can I say
If he could lead the family, 'twould make his day
As for Krypton, there is nothing that I have to say
'Til he passes on the Tin Cup... maybe some day

Manitoban seems Friendly, a very nice fellow
If he misses his top pick he's not quite so mellow

FU9ers, at first it sounds like a curse
but look at his picks, he could do much worse

It sounds like Genomania is a fan of Seattle
if they're to make the playoffs, will be quite a battle

Geofferson Starship's a rookie, new to the pool
Already won money, now he is so cool

Grampie Bear picks TNF right at the top
Win and he's in, lose his week stops

Green Giant in Green Bay, great  birthday gift
If only they'd won, would be such a lift

We come now to Hogie, a former winner
This season his picks couldn't win him a dinner

Holey One struggles, can't get his picks right
the power of prayer may not solve his plight

Hummer is struggling, can't get a win
Maybe learn the words is a place to begin

And then there is JakeDSnake, the slithery beast
May not be the best but for sure not least

Jamaica Flava – I know not a thing
Won't answer emails, no info to bring

Jetpicker is famous, made the Hall of Fame
Not in a good way, truly Hall of Shame

Juker is close, winning small bits
John even says his picks are... less than optimal

Killer Whales are breaching, trying for the top
Maliciously hoping others will flop

Kiss My Ace coasting, letting family do the work
When I called her lazy she called me a jerk

Mich Fits in Michigan, a fan of Detroit
Picking this season, not totally adroit

Mitchell Hole not picking, a common thread
not thinking of football, got married instead

Moe Money's won nothing, nada,  diddley-squat
Hold up a bank may be his best shot

Mr Twisty, another one sitting on zero
Just one winning week will make him a hero.

Murrman is having a bounce back year
Now he is winning his talent is clear

Have you seen the Mustard Man, the Mustard Man, The Mustard Man
He lives on Drury Lane

Muttley has winnings could buy a dog house
for Beau to live in, her unlucky spouse

Nate DigDawg has nothing, no winnings this year
one hot week for Christmas could bring him some cheer.

Taints are chipping, winning small bits
trying for more will give him fits.

 Ochocinco, our champion but that was last year
Trying again but it could end in tears

OldHuskey's done nothing after week two
He's getting upset, starting to stew

Pickle is steaky, usually make some money
This year like the Raiders, his future is not sunny

Polecat is a streaker, but just in this pool
won't take his clothes off, not that kind of fool

My team is the Rhino, not too good, not too bad 
39 years and not better, really that is so sad

Rotters was ahead, leading the herd
should have been careful not to step on... something bad 

Rusty, an off year, not like the past
Probably hoping the bad luck won't last

Sarge is getting old now buy he's not dead yet
Watch for a rebound, that's a good bet

Sassychassis is sharp, she picked a great name
Instead of winning money that is her claim to fame

Sean Leblanc cannot figure out how to change his name
No imagination, just playing the game

Shifty is home now, no longer snow bird
When he is winning I call him a... lucky fellow

Show Us Your TD's. This is my “B” team
Detroit Lions Super Bowl, this is my dream.

SimpFeld14 using Dave Keon's number
Dreams like a rock star, picks like a plumber

*** NOTE – my apologies to any plumbers who may read this.It was not meant to offend you

Squash Brothers three, they pick like a club
Occassionally win, more often flub

What do you rhyme with “The Big Bad B's”
Not long descended from out of the trees

Three Stooges are still here, long time in the pool
Do not underestimate, they are not fools

TTTMan has quit, I think he's all done
Finding the pool is no longer fun

Watt's Up wins early, he starts out hot
One winning week and his wad is shot

Xfiler2 is trying, a mediocre year
Won enough to avoid Tin Cup but that is small beer.

This is the end, I'm done for this season
Out of ideas, that is the reason

My thoughts for you as I now disappear
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

BTW. In the first stanza – that was my writing tool I referred to!

      I was kind of hoping that those who were too busy to enter picks this week were our buying me something nice for Christmas but nothing has showed up yet. I wait and watch for the postman daily but no joy. Maybe tomorrow.


The Rotters Report

Lordy, Lordy, Look Whose Forty

Are you younger than 40 years old? Then this football pool is older than you are. Have you been married for less than 40 years? Then this football pool is older than your marriage. Yes, by the end of week 18, the Piffle will have completed 40 seasons of operation. Yikes!!!

In 1983, I found an advertisement in a weekly sport news paper publication called the Sporting News (now defunct). The Rhino and I (Rotters) agreed we would use the ad’s scoring system at the start of the 1984 season (it is still the same system used presently. Another person (Ashcans) agreed to join our little pool. So there you have it, the Piffle started in 1984 with three franchises. We grew to 5 franchises in 1985. In 1986, we were at 7 franchises. Franchises were mostly from Kamloops and Mission. Rhino and myself would phone each other with the others city’s picks. Calculations were hand bombed every week. With the advent of telephone answering machines, we would record the picks on each other’s answering machines, again hand bombing the results. I eventually wrote a BASIC program on my TRS80 computer which would do the calculation for us. Since the computer only had 16k of memory, it could only do one week at a time. I showed the program to the Rhino and he with his Commodore computer and with its much larger memory, rewrote the program so that it could calculate the whole season. Along came email (I am guessing about 1990) and we were able to exchange our information electronically.

In 2005, we turned the operation over to another person, but this person was slow in paying out winnings, if at all. The Rhino along with the Chainman took back control in 2007. One of our franchises pointed out that our system would work on the CBS Sports Web Site. This was huge because it took a lot of the work to run the pool away from the Rhino and Chainman. It put responsibility back on the individual franchises to get their picks in on time.

Over the years, the Piffle has slowly grown by word of mouth; to the 60 franchises we have today. While most of the franchises are based in British Columbia, there are also franchises from Alberta. We have had a franchise from Ontario and from someone in the US of A. Hell; we even have a franchise member who played in the NFL.

So thank you Rhino and Chainman for all the work you do to keep this organization operational over the years.

This week, there is no change in the Email of Hope standings. The Green Giant leads the Email of Hope standings with 12 Emails. TTTMan is in second place with 10 EoH. There is a three way tie for 3rd place. Shawn the White, Muttley and Jet Picker with 9 Emails each. There are 5 franchises left with no Emails of Hope. For those of you who wish to see the complete Email of Hope standings, please click here.

Note: the winning dollar amounts are a week behind as the winners are not known at time of writing.

The Monica Award - I was not sure whether I should laugh or cry for Beau The Dope this week. Kneel ended up 6 points from winning money and taking himself out of the Tin Cup competition. In the end I compromised. I laughed so hard that tears ran down my cheeks.

    The POW Award - I had this all written up honouring BadGasBrown, BigFart Family, Dinky and Sassychassis for picking the Panthers to upset the Falcons then on Monday night the Seahawks managed to scrape out a victory over the Eagles in a bird fight. #1 Fan, BadGasBrown, Geofferson Starship, Mich Fits, Sassychassis, Watts Up and >XFiler2 actually made more points vs the rest of the pool with this pick because a number of people had Philadelphia highly rated. Well done all of you.

    The Celler Dweller - The Jetpicker actually had over 400 points until the Eagles imploded at the end of the game. That is not a horrible week in itself but when the winner earned over 750 points it looks pretty dismal. In one short week Andrew dropped from the penthouse to the... well, you get the idea.

   Without further ado, this weeks winners, and we honour and congratulate them are....

1st - XFiler2 - Did not respond. At one timeI had a great team photo of Mike a bit drunk in Las Vegas but that went up in smoke along with the hard drive on my old computer

2nd (T) - Shifty - Fred responded to he EofH, "Hurry Shifty has HOPE" Easy, wasn't it Fred!

2nd (T) - 3 Stooges - I don't know who made the picks this week but they should buy him a drink at their AGM. The won't be getting the Tin Cup this year for sure

4th - Ochocinco - The Champ still has it. Well, enought of it to avoid the Tin cup. He is in 10th place and I don't know if he has enough of it to repeat but he has not given up for sure.

This week's quote is seasonable. In the Simpsons (one of SimpFeld14's favourite TV shows) Matt Groening said, "Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa."

       I wish you all a very Merry Christmas...

          The Rhino

Return to Main Page